Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


Was it supposed to affect me? the secret I thought I always knew. Maybe I am too afraid to embrace the truth or I just like embracing the world in my own ways.. my old selfish ways. Oh the imagination! you feel almost supernatural when you can control the world around you. The broken pictures are sometimes better than reality. They signify your broken dreams, or do they? I have way too many dreams compressed in a miniature nano-sphere. Even if some get crushed, I have the rest to hold myself. WOW. I AM STRONG.

Returning back to the cipher…the enigma. It is pretty difficult for me to discover new things about it when I thought I knew better. I wish I did. What I want is so different from what I have chosen for me. And honestly it is more difficult to occult both of these from my heart. Wants can be tarnished, but your fate… more precisely the destiny you have chosen for yourself. My want will always be there with me, no matter what. And honestly be there for me. It just cannot be my destiny as it is not preordained just serendipity, A spontaneous good luck. The world is such a mess and I for once would want it to function efficiently. I confine in me secrets, confusions, dream, premonitions- Not necessarily the ones which belong to me, but ones which have links with mine. Like a magical bond, which only stronger with increasing ciphers and mysteries. Ones which now I protect, like a knight in a shining armor, actually more like a war princess. It is not only about the trust which I find most essential to store, but also I need a comrade. This comrade has been through rough patches and golden sunshine. Yes I trust this comrade more than many other minions. But I still couldn’t confide this one cipher…this one enigma. I wish I could confide. It has been eating me away gradually. I cant speak to anyone thus I shall not. But deep inside everyone knows…or maybe they think they do. The enigma is getting more mysterious as time goes by.


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It has been far better than what I expected it to be ever since…YES FAR BETTER. The few moments of twilight still are crystal clear embedded in my soul. IT was there, it promised to be there…oh what lies, such menace. I might have been it’s glory. care, love, believe, affection- DOES IT STILL EXIST.

 Does dawn follow the twilight, or darkness rewinds the scene. i can just wait and watch.

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That awkward moment when your cell phone clicks something magical!

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My Saving Grace


SINKING…with a plenty of baggage. I still recount, what have you done for me, what have you been for me and who you are for me. MY SAVING GRACE. I don’t know you well, but your soul is anything but obscure to me. I can see right through it. The care, the caress you are not what you say you are. Maybe even your thought is too preliminary to deduce the chain of events. But you understand…oh yes you do! Its preordained- the fates intertwined together like two DNA strands with complementary bases. Only if I knew, its hard to feign knowing the truth. No I don’t, I’m just misjudging my rather basic impulses. I AM NOT A GOOD JUDGE. I never was and I cannot be foolish. No, not this time

At least I know you will always be there. behind the stage, waiting for the curtain call. I HOPE YOU DO. Or maybe I hope you don’t. Confusion has made me go in complete frenzy. To get hold of myself being more difficult with time…while still the world is a whirlwind you bring me to life =D


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HE look into ME’s eyes, speaking gibberish about world affairs or science. ME FORGOT. HE was not gorgeous..not charming, how could he induce such an effect on me. I should have acted tough, put my guards up as I am way stronger than that. I should’ve protected ME. Oh well felony committed…consequences faced. FORGOTTEN =/ that is something to figure. The hypnotism clings..it still persists. somebody has to snap me out of it.

Now just for some fun facts TADA on how to hypnotize people as I have been way too self obsessed. If it does not work out, you didn’t do it right. =P

Now, follow the step by step process below:

1– Have the person sit in front of you – face on face. You should sit yourself, too. Have the person put their hand on top yours – palm to palm.

2– Tell him (her): “Look at my eyes and continue looking until I say something”.

3– Tell him (her): “In a moment I am going to count to 3. Press down on my hand and I’ll be pressing up against your energy and simply follow my instructions instantly.”

4– Say “1…2…3….push, push, push”. If he (she) is pushing gently, tell him (her) to push harder.

5. Now with your other hand, put it on top of his eyes, like you are shading them, and slowly caressing down.

6. Then say: “now as you continue to press down on my hand I want you to develop a feeling in your eyes like your up much too late at night watching an old black and white movie, you should go to bed but you’re just so tired. You feel your eyes so droopy …and closing….and drowsy….and….SLEEP !”

The moment you begin to say “sleep” you have to quickly slip your hand away from his (her). This is very important moment and must be done accurately.

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The memory remains crystal clear, embedded into the rationale organ in my body. Yes the bliss! takes almost 5 seconds to recollect and then it plays like a cliched movie…it has been in playback for far too long or has it. Well no it might be recurring but not usual. Too original the content, at least to ME. Me is not very bright, she makes mistakes way too often. Foolish ME…HOW COULD I?
Let someone choose for me, Let me be taken for granted, put myself and my values up for auction, believe in what only children and old people believe…ETERNAL bliss. I have to be anonymous as you already know too much about me. But I am smarter than ME. ME and I are different people- different in their own eccentric ways. Which is more saner, I yet have to figure.

I personally have several portals to bliss. however, I only choose certain portals. MY BLISS, is not necessarily what you would reckon to be the right thing to do. But I don’t need your approval, but I do need your thought. TO ACKNOWLEDGE-TO UNDERSTAND-TO FEEL- TO RECONNECT. reconnect to that last few seconds of bliss and hope  ………………………………………………………….. I guess you already reconnected to it. =)


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Am I the same individual I was…do I think the same…do the dreams just take a new shape. This is not a journal more like a stairway to my personal procrastinating mind. I am self obsessed, yes I am. and there is nothing anyone can do about it can they. In my mind I play a new film everyday…the only similarity is the main protagonist- ME.

But how do I define ME-its not just an individual :/ yes I question myself everyday. I have a split personality…I have faults and foes. Not necessarily the faults create the foes. I would have less foes if I were more faulty…or less friends. Go ahead judge..that will hardly bother me. I don’t know you but I will exist to live what to others might be just a regular life. But  is only animated to me…a pocket full of sunshine…


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